Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Play

While things have now settled down and questions have been answered - I have been given permission by the author, Mr. P. Lee to post a short play he wrote regarding recent events. The names have been changed to protect the innocent - and the opinions listed are not necessarily those of the blog author (a.ka. ME), I didn't write the play, I'm just posting it! FYI, the actual professor has since made sincere efforts to communicate clearly and politely since this was posted and the situation has been much improved. This just goes to show how a little miscommunication can have a major effect on a lot of people. As the warden in Cool Hand Luke put it, "What we have here is FAILURE to COMMUNICATE!"

The Right of Might

Setting - Teacher's lounge of the British School in New Delhi, India. The year is 1989 and smoking is yet permitted in the lounge. A highly accomplished and respected teacher enters the lounge and joins a trusted friend of his at a table. The friend offers him a cigarette which he gladly accepts. The teacher appears to be somewhat agitated.

Respected Teacher: I don't know about this class I've got this semester. They don't seem to be all too bright.

Trusted Friend: Oh? How so?

Respected Teacher: Well there's all this complaining about not being able to understand the directions which I put out clearly in the syllabus. One of the kids even whines about his frustrations regarding the matter. Like I give a damn.

Trusted Friend: So it's just a handful of dense students in this class that's giving you trouble?

Respected Teacher: Oh no. It seems like nobody in the whole group is bright enough to comprehend the syllabus. Can you believe that? An entire class of intellectually challenged students. And this is supposed to be an upper division English course for crying out loud!

Trusted Friend: Wait, if none of them are able to get it do you think the problem might possibly be with the syllabus and not with them?

Respected Teacher: Of course not! I wrote it after all. And when I read it, it makes perfect sense! There's no room for misunderstanding. Everything they need to know is right there if they'd get off their lazy behinds and actually read the thing.

Trusted Friend: You know, one of the tips for writers is to read what they've written out loud or have someone read it to them. It's because when people read what they themselves wrote they're reading the meaning which they had intended with those words and it could cloud any objective review of their work.

Respected Teacher: You think I don't know this? But this syllabus has been used before and it worked fine. It's got to be this class that's the problem.

Trusted Friend: Well what are some of the things they are complaining about?

Respected Teacher: Well for one thing they keep pointing out that the format for the weekly discussions, in which I limit the maximum number of answers possible, isn't adequate for the course which has a lot more people than the amount I've allotted.

Trusted Friend: What do you mean?

Respected Teacher: Well for the first week there was only 12 possible options for answers even though there are...oh more than 15 people in the class I think. Some parts of the second week only permit 8 eligible answers and the third week only 9.

Trusted Friend: Wait...I thought you said that this syllabus has been tested before? You mean you used the same inadequate number of possible answers before but the previous class just wasn't bothered with it?

Respected Teacher: No. It was a smaller class.

Trusted Friend: I see. Well don't you think the reason this class is complaining is because they're trying to take your directions seriously and keep in step with what you've put out?

Respected Teacher: Oh come on! If there aren't enough possible answers allotted then OF COURSE they're free to pick what they want. As long as they cover all the questions of course as well, isn't that just so obvious and crystal clear? It's not rocket science after all! (that last bit is actually a direct quote)

Trusted Friend: What else are they complaining about?

Respected Teacher: Well my syllabus doesn't exactly put out the dates which 2 of their major papers, research presentations, are due. Nor the exact topics. I just put out the final due date and naturally thought they'd figure out it meant they have to pick a date before that on which they'd present. This is again so obvious and elementary that if they can't figure such simple details I feel like they shouldn't even be in this class. How on earth do they expect to understand masterful literary pieces when they can't figure out a simple syllabus?

Trusted Friend: Hmm...well so far it seems the only problem has been in figuring out the syllabus you've put out to them. I mean none of them have complained about any of the actual course work but are just trying to figure out what and when they're supposed to do the work, right?

Respected Teacher: And it's not like they just point it out but they keep going on and on about the same thing. I mean, do I have to answer the same question 10 different times to the same class?

Trusted Friend: You mean you addressed these issues and clarified what is required to them and they still continue to nag you with questions?

Respected Teacher: Oh no. I didn't deal with any of this nonsense the entire first week. I only got around to it on the second week. What, I'm not their slave that I need to cater to them day and night!

Trusted Friend: Well the first week is usually when people are trying to figure things out and have all the basic questions. It might have been helpful to be there on the first week to help them grasp the material at the start perhaps?

Respected Teacher: Look that's really not my responsibility as a teacher. I put out the instructions as I see fit. Then I just have to drop in once a week and drop a "Good job" or even an "Excellent Job" here and there to let them think that I actually care about all the stuff they come up with. Maybe even refer to an issue here and there if I'm in a particularly good mood. But I'm not going to cater to them hand and foot with everything they can't be bothered to read and think about in order to figure out. I really think some of these kids need to just drop this class.

Trusted Friend: You really think people should drop your class because they can't figure out your syllabus? Without even getting into the actual course work?

Respected Teacher: Yes!

Trusted Friend: You've admitted to faulty direction given in your weekly lectures. And the lack of actual dates or clarification of topics given for papers in your syllabus. Yet you still think the students are at fault for being confused?

Respected Teacher: Yes!

Trusted Friend: How so?

Respected Teacher: Because I'M THE TEACHER, damnit! I have a PhD for crying out loud!

A few moments pass in silence after which the trusted friend reaches for his cigarette case and offers it to the respected teacher.

Trusted Friend: Care for another one?

Respected Teacher: Sure. Thanks.

Trusted Friend: So...what are you up to tonight? Want to go out for a drink or something?

Respected Teacher: Can't. I've got a pretty big lecture I have to give tonight.

Trusted Friend: Oh...what's it on?

Respected Teacher: It's on improving the effectiveness of higher level education with a global perspective.

The End
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